Beams + S/S 2013

Beams Plus S/S 2013 has come and gone across your RSS feed (assuming you know how to use one) and I am yet to impart an opinion to your opinionless mind.

Menswear peeps don't got no opinions so that's why people like Sam and I need to supply you with one.

It's cool, I guess.



This look is heavily influenced by the failure of Lehman Bros.

Or your neighborhood wino.

But only winos south of the Mason-Dixon line. Winos north of DC wear a ton of coats all the time.



Beams Plus must be Asia's Gap.

That automatically makes it cooler than America's Gap but less cool in respect to other Asian brands.



The grey socks are a nice touch.

Having seen all the looks, I notice that many of the looks are influenced by Americans wandering around in the woods on acid. It's Heritage in that respect. Like 'Dead Head' Heritage.



This is also 'Dead Head' Heritage. But pre-'Dead Head' Heritage. It's like Beams Plus is referencing all time periods before, during, and after the 'Dead Head' movement. So the past 60 years, right?



Abuse isn't recreational.



Cardigans and capris are very Slovak.



When I was about 4 years old, this was how my mother dressed my older brother and me.



When will the internet be done with tote bags? Do men actually use them? Do they only use them when they have kids? Do they keep things other than diapers in them?



Beams Plus is so dull I have nothing to say.



If I were getting paid to do this I'd be so fired.



"OH LOOK IT'S TODD FUCKING SNYDER!"

"NO, IT'S ACTUALLY BEAMS FUCKING PLUS SPRING SUMMER 2013!"

"NO WAY? REALLY? ARE YOU SURE IT'S NOT TODD FUCKING SNYDER!"

"YES, I'M SURE. TODD SNYDER ONLY USES ANGLO-AMERICAN MODELS AND THE ONE TOKEN BLACK GUY!"



"OH LOOK IT'S TODD FUCKING -- WAIT A MINUTE, IT'S BEAMS PLUS JUST LIKE THE LAST ONE!"



This is what Frenchmen wear when they go to masturbate in public.



"OH LOOK, HOW DID MY MOTHER'S TALBOT'S CATALOG JPEGS GET INTO THIS SLIDESHOW?"

"THAT'S NOT YOUR MOTHER'S TALBOT'S CATALOG! IT'S BEAMS PLUS!"



If the Applacian Trail had an intestine...

Not that these looks are bad though.



These are just a bunch of random clothes thrown on a model.



SWERVE.

Beams Plus throws you a curveball with a Thomas the Tank Engine look on the last fit.

What do you even do man? What do you even do?



Beams Plus is Japan's Gap.

Schwinnwear

I was reading Moon Knight the other day -- the Benson run -- and realized that Moon Knight wears white regardless of the season. He doesn’t care about societal rules. He stencils muthafuckas foreheads. 

Sounds familiar.

Sounds like #menswear.

Wearing white whenever you want, rambling about some look from Pitti, and stenciling reblogs with your sign is VERY Moon Knight/#menswear. 

#menswear is a double edged sword of lunacy (or lunarcy -- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH). Fuck the rules. Obey the rules. What I’m doing is relevant. What I’m doing is irrelevant.

Anyway, Schwinn ad of Bob Hope here:

He rocks the matching socks and shirt. I know some people who would do this. OCD is a disease.

People who have OCD wake up in the morning, put on a pair of socks, then take them off, then put on another pair, then match their underwear to their socks, then take the underwear off, then pick out a sweater and match their underwear to their sweater, then match their shirt to their socks.

Then they put on pants and the chosen sweater.

Then they put shoes on. Maybe. If they did everything in order. 

Then they take everything off and put it back on again. 

Bob Hope’s penny loafers look schlick -- Vernon Davis menswear schlick. Vernon Davis is very relevant as are Bob Hope’s penny loafers.

Date Rape S/S ’14.

Anyway, this fit sucks (IMO -- the most important menswear caveat). I’m glad he uploaded it to sufu so everyone can make fun of him.

Check the dude on the left with the yellow shirt, what looks like sky blue corduroy shorts, and a white belt not made out of natural materials.

Schwinn catalog covers were the worst. 

Check the guy in the front. He’s wearing something similar to the guy in the previous picture, but with a pastel palatte. 

Some people are very against wearing shorts. Was this caused by scarring from old Schwinn catalog covers? This seems to be a fair theory.

I’ll run with it. Like all ill-fated trends, Schwinnwear seems destined for a rebound and for acceptance into the tongue-in-cheek-but-also-up-your-butt world of menswear. 

Who is the future designer that will carry the torch of Schwinnwear? Will it be you? Will you be reinterpreting the classics of corduroy shorts and synthetic belts? 

Schwinnwear for good and for bad. It’ll always be with us as it’s imprinted into our sartorial history.

Jean shorts and polos are mad comfortable.

80s Schwinnwear was dope as hell.

Tight t-shirts, pleated khakis, and sneakers seems to be my destiny. How those pant leg openings didn’t get caught in the chain is beyond me, kerchief-tied-to-right-leg be damned. Look at that perfect break though. It’s gorgeous. 

Hoodies and shorts are due for a moment. It’s been too long. And by too long I mean since middle school.

Middleschoolwear S/S ’15?

Trend Watch: Pitti Uomo 2013

After all the pictures from Pitti Uomo 2013 came out, Sam and I sat down and attempted to synthesize it into something meaningful. The following is what we came up with:

JL: There's lots of stuff going on here. I'm not sure if we take these things and say anything relevant with them. Floppy hats will be worn poorly starting now.



SF: clothes are very in



JL: I would agree. Clothes are a trend in all these photos.



SF: clothes are so more in than they were at pitti 2012



SF: nekkid is no longer in remember when bands had nekkid peple on their album cover

JL: Clothes would seem to be a recurring theme at a trade-show.



SF: look somepeole wear their clothes silly

JL: Is wearing your clothing silly a trend?

SF: i wuld say im a style expert



JL: Look at this photo. Is the zipper jacket a post-clothing reference to being in the nude? Remember when some writer called men's ankles similar to women's cleavage? Is this similar? Is it a hint at back cleavage? Is this post-menswear but pre-androgynouswear?

SF: i wold say that i think that i will clothes this year as they are very in

JL: You heard it here first. Clothes will be 'in' for 2013.

Photos from Tommy Ton, Selectism, and Men's Reverie.

Christmas Is Coming

My father was driving the car thirty miles north from our small rural town to a smaller rural town. I sat in the passenger seat. We didn’t listen to anything but the shushing of the cold road. We drove along the west branch of the Susquehanna, which at that point isn’t nestled in a river valley, but divides a series of mountains, smashing it’s way to it’s destination. It was the first snowfall but the snow never made it past halfway down the mountains, which like other mountains in Pennsylvania, are all the same damn height. You could see snow peeking out beneath the cover of the pines. It wasn’t Christmas yet. I guess you could call it appropriate the way Jack Frost just couldn’t wait.

We were visiting a nursing home and I was along to witness an old man signing a will. 

My father is an attorney so that’s the sort of business we were about.

I don’t need to tell you what a nursing home smells like. 

We found the old man past a few people -- who looked no older than my dad -- unable to take care of themselves. The people just sat. They sat and farted. That’s what you do when you can’t do anything else.

The old man sat alone in the common room. The TV was blaring loudly but he couldn’t hear it. He was reading a book that looked well older than me. We sat down and my father discussed the requested changes to the will with the old man. The old man read everything and re-read everything. He had a stuffy nose so he pulled a ragged paper towel out of his front shirt pocket and blew his nose. He ripped off a sheet of newspaper from  the adjacent table, put the paper towel folded in it, and placed it back into his front shirt pocket. 

The old man had only recently been moved into the nursing home. He was capable of taking care of himself but his house was so-far-removed from the so-far-removed town that his children had no other option but to move him into the nursing home. The children were removed from the so-far-removed town -- they had headed off to some Eden of theirs. They had been long gone and deep snow is a danger to stubborn old men.

When my father asked the old man sign every page of his will, the man paused. I couldn’t tell if it was his cold but the old man’s eyes looked glazed with tears. 

The old man was reticent. He wasn’t worried about signing away his stuff. I mean, look at us. Most of us have too much shit and never remember to use it or even what to do with it. We are horrid in our materialism. He wasn’t sad about signing his stuff away. He was sad about signing away his memories. 

When you get old, you forget. When you get old, you die. Sometimes you don’t get to tell people about why you did things the way you did them. Sometimes you don’t get to share a memory that was significant... somehow. Well, how it was significant you can’t really remember but you do remember that it was significant. We store memories in our stuff; little bits of info that helps dig up something lost into our consciousness. When you lose the stuff that you store memories in, you lose it forever. You lose little bits of your Eden, the memory of good things -- good people and good times. You lose your Garden.

The old man gathered himself, in a central PA way where you puff out your stomach and sink lower into your chair, and began signing. I think the man knew that, while those memories are important, you can never share them again in that way that you want. They’re a false Eden, where things are great but only inside of your head. You can’t share those memories with others. At least, not in the way that you want. They always come out distorted or in the wrong hue. Those memories can’t be passed down through your things like a library passes down information.They’re your Eden but they’re an Eden that can’t be shared.The old man knew that and he signed every single page.

“There’s snow on the mountains,” my father told the old man. The old man set down the pen. “Well, I suppose that there would be,” he replied, “Christmas is coming.”

We took our papers and said farewell. 

The old man smiled at something only he knew. 

Sam Franklin Reviews Steven Alan S/S 2013

i like tree button ocats they are cool they are kinda work wear



this is pretty cool i like his hat its one of the best ones ive seen all year



this guy looks like jim from the office



i think this fit is from a gilt product shoot



this guy dresses liike me



HEY ITS ANDREW 3000 HAHAHAHAHAHA



this guy is very cool hes proably going to pitti



this guy looks like tj maxx



this guys dresses like my friend josh who is cool



this guy dresses like my mom



cool coat looks like jcrew? is that a jcrew coat?



prints are very in



hey its john but black



this guy is a kia commrcial



i think this guys is just wearing underwer



asians r cool



this guys looks like he hangs out around walmart batrooms



cool



this guy looks like a guy in the street i saw once



this is how all the french peple dress



cool i wear it to a wedding or skatebrding



this is cool its like 2002 or deathcab for cutie

steven alan is cool

its pichfork but a couple yrs ago

Ivy Style @ FIT

#menswear is marketing. It’s marketing in little, personal ways -- there are few large campaigns in #menswear -- but an orange is an orange and marketing is marketing. Ivy Style is a small part of #menswear, a subsection if you will. The men, and some women, who discuss ivy style are marketers with each internet post.

Recently, I attended the Ivy Style exhibit at FIT. 

It was fuck-shit-terrible. 

There were a few interesting pieces -- I believe “few” is gracious -- most notable were the “Beer Suits” but the rest of it was just marketing. 

The topic of Ivy Style was the sartorial notions of the men who attended Ivy League schools in the decade and a half after WWII. There were maybe 30-35 mannequins in the exhibit. Thom Browne outfits were placed on roughly 5 of them. Thom Browne drags Ivy Style into the absurd as he jokes and has fun with his designs. Thom Browne had zero influence on the men of the Ivy Style era. Why was Thom Browne placed on so many mannequins? How does he expand our knowledge of Ivy Style? Don’t most jokes -- the sort that Thom Browne makes -- need a cultural background to be understood? Why include so much Thom Browne when canonical Ivy Style is so underrepresented?

I cannot imagine that footwear from the Ivy Style “era” is that difficult to procure. Why did they use McNairy shoes on over half the mannequins?

The write-ups on each mannequin were brief. I would have preferred more extensive information on each piece but c’est la vie. 

The Ralph Lauren brand wasn’t established until 1967, after the Ivy Style heyday. Ralph Lauren pieces were a large number of pieces in the exhibit. Why was this so?

Modern pieces do not expand our knowledge of the time period. Modern pieces appear to be there to be sold.

The Ivy Style exhibit seemed to be more crass than the personal marketing that #menswear is used to. 

If you happen to have a “brand”, take note: a museum exhibit shouldn’t be a commercial.

NOTE: I don't know anything about museum curation. Maybe my judgement is horribly wrong. If you are an expert in museum curation and know that my opinion is weak, please email me so that I can make amendments.