Saturday, July 17, 2010

Front pocket cargos

Front pocket cargos seem to be what the kids are wearing these days. For the longest time (in internet terms, so actually like three days), I couldn't figure out why. It certainly couldn't be because of the collections that are pushing the look and because of the general acceptance by the public. It must be because the pockets are useful for holding things and that women love 'em. But how are they better than regular cargos? Well, regular cargos tend to have larger pockets than front pocket cargos, thus things flop around and tend to get lost in the large pockets. Bummer, right? Well, front pocket cargos haves seemed to solve this problem with their smaller pockets and at the same time, solved the jean pocket bulge problem, due to their mildly large pockets. Which brings me to my thesis: front cargo pants are the ultimate condom carrying pant. Condoms won't get lost in their small pockets, and you won't suffer the embarrassing condom bulge in your jean pocket (don't be a jackass, you're not supposed to keep them in your wallet). You can carry quite a few with no one knowing the better, except your lucky lady.

I'm not sure why this guy is wearing them, models don't use condoms.

After examination, you can fit a pack of condoms in front pocket cargos without anyone noticing. More if you unwrap them before putting them in!

Hipsters think it's funny to wear their pants backwards. I just think it looks uncomfortable.

After doing through research, I found that front pocket cargos were created to make the pocket t obsolete. See, pocket t's were originally created to hold condoms, but they only hold one. So, seeing that pocket t's weren't cutting it for the more physically demanding relationships, some smart dude created the front pocket cargo.

This dude wears them to work. What does that say about him?

To the kid who says "Your Favorite Weapon" sucks, you were 16 once, don't act like you're too grown up to like it.


  1. This is one of the best blog entries that I've ever read. Thank you very much.

  2. Any and all cargo pants are ridiculous.

  3. Lol. I really enjoyed reading this. My first time on this blog. Cool stuff.

  4. So that's what the "ticket pocket" is for on jackets...