With the rise of Italian sportswear we’ve seen a trend die, thank goodness. Remember tote bags? Those things that you carry Fritos and LARP campaign manuals in? Yep, I haven’t seen one float across my dashboard in sometime either. I never was a particular fan of tote bags as they seem effeminate. However, Sam Franklin thinks that they are great. We recently had a debate via email over their merits.
From: stylepro138492039@hotmail.com
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 11:25 AM
To: guidetobadtaste@gmail.com
what do you think about a post about tote bags i think that they are great and very useful to carry stuff in and every man should own one as their an essential
From: guidetobadtaste@gmail.com
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 5:09 PM
To: stylepro138492039@hotmail.com
I personally think that tote bags suck. I don’t think I’m comfortable letting you post about them if I don’t actually like them.
John Lugg
From: stylepro138492039@hotmail.com
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 5:10 PM
To: guidetobadtaste@gmail.com
what you think that all my ideas suck and you never let me post about them i know about these things than you do just let me take care of it there are so many merits to tote bags why wont you see that
From: guidetobadtaste@gmail.com
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 8:22 PM
To: stylepro138492039@hotmail.com
What merits? Name them.
John Lugg
From: stylepro138492039@hotmail.com
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 8:23 PM
To: guidetobadtaste@gmail.com
you can put all sorts of stuff in them and their rugged and useful and look really cool you can fit really cool stuff like an expresso machine in them and other cool stuff like you could take them to a cool coffee place and be like im really stoic and cool im just going to pull out my old kerowack novel and read it while ppl play mellow music over a bose sound system and the coffee shop babes pour a foam heart in your drink or whatever how they do that
From: guidetobadtaste@gmail.com
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 11:59 PM
To: stylepro138492039@hotmail.com
I’ve seen you with your tote bag and there’s never anything in it.
John Lugg
From: stylepro138492039@hotmail.com
Sent: Wednesday, August 10, 2011 12:00 AM
To: guidetobadtaste@gmail.com
theier is always useful stuff in my bag i caryy lots of useful things in them
From: guidetobadtaste@gmail.com
Sent: Wednesday, August 10, 2011 8:11 AM
To: stylepro138492039@hotmail.com
Like what? Can’t you just carry a backpack or briefcase?
John Lugg
From: stylepro138492039@hotmail.com
Sent: Wednesday, August 10, 2011 8:12 AM
To: guidetobadtaste@gmail.com
useful things that dont fit in a backpack or briefcase
From: guidetobadtaste@gmail.com
Sent: Wednesday, August 10, 2011 5:39 PM
To: stylepro138492039@hotmail.com
Examples please?
John Lugg
From: stylepro138492039@hotmail.com
Sent: Wednesday, August 10, 2011 5:40 PM
To: guidetobadtaste@gmail.com
i just took a picture of my rabbit in my totebag you can carry all sorts of things in them
From: guidetobadtaste@gmail.com
Sent: Wednesday, August 10, 2011 7:19 PM
To: stylepro138492039@hotmail.com
I didn’t know you had a rabbit. Is it cute?
John Lugg
From: stylepro138492039@hotmail.com
Sent: Wednesday, August 10, 2011 7:20 PM
To: guidetobadtaste@gmail.com
yes very cute you should see it you can carry things like rabbits in tote bags
From: guidetobadtaste@gmail.com
Sent: Wednesday, August 10, 2011 9:02 PM
To: stylepro138492039@hotmail.com
So you can carry rabbits and what else?
John Lugg
From: stylepro138492039@hotmail.com
Sent: Wednesday, August 10, 2011 9:03 PM
To: guidetobadtaste@gmail.com
mom has a cat
From: guidetobadtaste@gmail.com
Sent: Wednesday, August 10, 2011 11:03 PM
To: stylepro138492039@hotmail.com
Don’t be dumb. Cats hate riding in tote bags.
John Lugg
From: stylepro138492039@hotmail.com
Sent: Wednesday, August 10, 2011 11:04 PM
To: guidetobadtaste@gmail.com
my moms cat would love riding on tote bags sometimes my mom puts her on her lap when shes driving and pretends the cat is driving its really funny but then after awhile the cat gets mad and hisses and tries to jump out the window if its down it actually happened once but we stopped the car and found the cat she was hiding in a tree and was mad at mom so i had to get her down
From: guidetobadtaste@gmail.com
Sent: Wednesday, August 10, 2011 11:34 PM
To: stylepro138492039@hotmail.com
I’m definitely not letting you write about tote bags. They’re just not that useful and look like a purse.
John Lugg
From: stylepro138492039@hotmail.com
Sent: Wednesday, August 10, 2011 11:35 PM
To: guidetobadtaste@gmail.com
want me to send you that picture of my rabbit in my tote
__________________________
So there you have it. Tote bags are great for carrying rabbits around in.
Saw one on a young hipster yesterday. It gave the guy the appearance of feminine hips.
ReplyDeleteVB
I like the epistolary blog post.
ReplyDeleteI have chosen to go the other route and carry the most rugged Indiana Jones bag ever created. It can hold any Mayan artifact or Biblical relic and withstand the pitfalls of being chased by Nazis... it carries my iphone.
ReplyDeleteBrilliant misuse of "their" (among others) by Sam. It's the details that count.
ReplyDeleteTotes and backpacks serve the exact same purpose but I prefer to tote. If I look like a little lady while doing it I'll live.
ReplyDeleteTote bags serve the exact same purpose as lady's shoulder bags and purses have always served. They also exhibit the exact same morphology as a purse. Hence, tote bags are purses, full-stop.
ReplyDeleteIf you need to carry stuff and you don't want to carry it in a purse/tote, use a backback, messenger bag, etc. There are just as many configurations and "colorways", so you will still be able to enclose your personal effects in a manner that reflects your amazingly inspirational snowflake-like style.
Personally, if I have to transport more than fits in my pockets, I have it delivered to my destination by a messenger service.
Hilarious, yes Tote bags are effeminate...no matter how many bloggers think they're cool. The only acceptable tote usage is the one you payed 50 cents for at the Supermarket because they decided to go "green"
ReplyDeleteThe only men that get a pass for tote bags are old guys. Why? Because they don't give a shit about style, or blogging, or names other than who they know. One of my mentors sometimes uses a tote bag for the gym, to him its the most natural thing in the world because he doesn't give a shit. Actually, if more people our age acted like old guys the less we would have to deal with egocentric assholes that pretend spending $900 on a tote bag (or really anything you can find on menswear blogs) is actually somehow meaningful to their lives.
ReplyDeleteIn the end, you can't take any of it with you. You will be extremely lucky if anyone remembers what you did 100 years down the road, which is still only a fraction of a fraction of the timeline of human events. Then all you'll be left with is wondering on your death bed why you spent so much time worrying about dumb shit when you could have been spending that time becoming a better person.
/rant
@ David:We need to hang out. If I'm ever down south, I will let you know.
ReplyDelete