Saturday, December 10, 2011


Problems mounted for the blogger. The December dark turned the lights out early for his windows in the basement. He struggled with the question of what to add to his gift idea post. How do you address the contradiction of ‘buying less, buying better’ and the holiday consumerism? Do you scratch your butt and hope it goes away? At the moment, the blogger chose the latter. And by that I mean he flicked through his blogroll and imbibed the syrup. After an hour of gorging himself, he sat stuffed with consumer filth, on the verge of vomiting on the floor. He was bloated and with the furnace humming on, he began to feel something similar to the meat-sweats coming on. How would he address this issue if he could not get himself beyond it?

Luckily for the blogger, the solution came to him in his sweaty, consumer, coma. When he reflected on the moment later, he would liken it to the Gospel of Matthew; when the Holy Spirit came down from heaven, crept to Mary’s bed, held her down, and stuck it in. She became pregnant with a man that would influence the thoughts of everyone in the West for the next two-thousand years. Raped by an idea, the blogger became pregnant with a solution for menswear bloggers everywhere. Blessed was he among bloggers, and blessed was the fruit of his womb.

He realized this: this sort of thing is a hobby. For those who spend hours on the internet, curiosity drove them to consume. For those of who could care less, they didn’t read his “10 Menswear Essentials” and did not care about how their jackets fit. He had been writing to the wrong audience. He wrote to those who never read when he should have been writing to those who did. The blogosphere subscribed to the philosophy ‘buying more, buying better’ and there was nothing wrong with that.

What a visionary.

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