Missed the Boat

I think maybe these jackets by Woolrich missed the boat. Probably because they were faddy only a couple years ago. Parkas have been missing the distinctive lining at the hood for the past few seasons. You could say that it makes sense, as this fur lining seems more luxurious than practical.

Back in the day, Woolrich used to make a lot of these parkas. The Europeans loved them, but with the global warming fad catching on, their sales dropped. You can't order them off Woolrich's website. Ebay is probably your best bet.

Why the blogosphere doesn't love these is a bit of a mystery.



Rappers love anything exotic around their neck, woman or animal. "The Crew" love rappers ('specially Big Boi). I should see a coat like this in my blogroll at least twice a day. Does not compute.



Italians loved them. Looks like this Italian lost his parka a while back. I guess it explains why his sportcoat is longer than his puffy bomber.

"The Crew" loves Italians. I would've expected to see the "retro Italian" fad rolling around already.



Does anyone remember 13th & Wolf? The dude knew where it was at.

My only explanation for all this is that "The Crew" is actually PETA. Makes a whole 'lotta sense, actually.

JK.

Real reason: Have you ever seen someone shoveling horse shit in a coat like this? Neither have I.

Pictures robbed from:
sumbro?
13th & Wolf
The Internet

What Went Wrong?

Let's take a theoretical world. Everyone dresses in a uniform 1984 style. None of this personal style crap, just clean cut. Take American individualism and the desire to consume differently than others out of it. Everyone eats the same food, wears the same briefs, and wakes up at the same time every morning. Then, out of somewhere awesome, someone starts to do things differently. Underwear is put on backwards, cookies are for breakfast, and said person rolls out of bed at noon; just in time to miss the staff meeting.

Unfortunately, this is not where menswear has come from the past few years. Uniforms? They're out the window. Individualism? It's rampant to the point of bad taste.

Collections tend to want to progress with the male. They take him from his basics one season, onto the stripes and patterns the next. They seem to be trying to help him build his style. Here's the problem. People buy individually, and buy into the advanced seasons, thus missing the point of actually building the basics. JCrew falls into this problem this season.



Credits to SF

Awkward three button or 3/2 roll jackets (they're loosely ironed, meaning that you should be individual and unkept), tuxedo orphans, and silly hipster hoodies abound.

All this? All this would be great if menswear were coming from that theoretical world described above. As mentioned previously, it's not. It's coming from a world where men wore whatever they wanted. And now if they wear a collar, it's quite the step up. Dressing like Frank suggests isn't much more individual than wearing flippy flops and a trucker hat. Sprezzatura is not going from Threadless t-shirts to undone french cuffs flopping around your wrists. It's not mismatching a tuxedo jacket with your pants. It's not throwing a bunch of crap together because the male should be an individual.

Brands like JCrew need to spend time perfecting the basics. It's not going to happen after one season. It'll probably take five.

Maybe menswear needs to spend some time in North Korea.

FYMW

Fuckyeahmenswear is funny. There is no doubt. I didn't want to write this but I feel that people don't quite get it. Is it his/her/it's/Maurice's hip-hop references? Is it how he/she/it/Maurice knows menswear better than your average tumblr ass clown? Sarcasm? His/her/it's/Maurice's corruptions of Bastian and Cucinelli? Is it that he/she/it/Maurice makes fun of our ridiculousness?

It's not.

It's funny because FYMW so subtly strokes our ego.

People love inside jokes. It makes them feel included. Do you know the difference between a Danner and a Bean Boot? Good, then you're in. By poking fun at menswear, FYMW assures us of our presence. He/she/it/Maurice builds our ego by tearing us down. Like when your best friends rag on you for being a character, or for being unique, FYMW does the same thing.

People seem to think that FYMW is so great because it makes us introspective and cast off our absurdities. The former is true, but there is a secondary effect to this introspection and it is not that we cast off our absurdities. It makes us believe that our preposterousness is actually a good thing. Few menswear bloggers/readers are in 7th grade, the last thing we want to is to fade into the background. We revel in our quirks.

We love ourselves so much.

Love Me Tender

Another brand outta' the UK? Whatever, this brand goes hard for locomotion references. Trains? Cool in my book. I'm all for Obama's reinvest in America program as long as we get lots of cool trains. I'd pay extra taxes for that (and have less dough to blow on oxfords). However, I suggest that we should put a clause in the act requiring all new trains to get Thomas the Tank Engine faces. That way America can be just like the Island of Sodor. As it should be.








Wait, hold on. That lining? Look familiar? Yep, here. They must share mills.

Get your train on. My prediction? #trainwear2011

Emil over at Denim Debate will be trying a pair of Tenders. Excited to see the first fits.

Wankerchief

With the utilization of the internet for menswear, learning how to dress is as easy as looking up whether or not Jeanne Tripplehorn was in Waterworld or not (she is, in fact). We've learned how to tie a bow-tie, buy a suit that fits, and get great fades on a pair of selvedge denim (to non-selvedge heads, selvedge jeans are like legos. They're fun 'cause of the process). The internet is democratized style by instructing every man to rock their inner badass/womanizer. Of course, we've seen a resurgence in a number or timeless trends. One of them being the wankerchief.



Originating in England, when gentlemen were in the doghouse after too much to drink, the wankerchief was created to keep yourself clean. It should also be mentioned that the phrase, "CHECK YO' SELF" also took root here, as a reminder to your friend that he needs to clean himself before he leaves the house. No one needs to see that.



Recently, the wankerchief was reintroduced into menswear. Many place their selvedge, it shows wear better and lets people know how lived in and authentic you are, wankerchiefs in their back jean pocket (also selvedge for ultimate authentic results).



While wankerchiefs are often utilitarian, some used them for decorative purposes. Here we see Sinatra stunting the wankerchief folded in his breast pocket. Purely decorative as Frank Sinatra never had any wanking to do. He was Frank Sinatra.



Contrast Sinatra's wankerchief with the wankerchief sticking out of the back pocket of this pair of jeans. You can see it's a heavily used wankerchief. You'll get some crazy cool fades on that wankerchief in a year or two with all the use it's getting.



Here we see Will from ASW using the wankerchief decoratively. Good to know that he uses his decoratively, otherwise that would be gross. He's kinda' old.



The internet has re-popularized the wankerchief which is good news for everyone. Before you leave said wanking area, you should always use your wankerchief to "CHECK YO' SELF". I can't imagine the 90s when no young men used wankerchiefs. Barbarians.

Wankerchiefs are great for those who need to clean the spoog off themselves after making parody posts that all seem the same. It helps if you use the same words every time.

Doin' Manly Stuff in Uggs

Uggs, sensing a trend in men's boots, gives us a line for doing super manly stuff in. It's a line that I'm super excited about and I can't wait to get my hands on a pair.



The marketing campaign is quite appealing, though I can't find an ad scan. Most ads have men lounging outside, near chopped wood with the script, "It's a man thing" plastered under the model. Quite appealing, as all men like doing man things.



This picture from the Ugg website is pretty manly. Boots and chopped wood makes me feel like I have balls, and that women will desire me more.



This is a really cool model. With all that fur at the ankle opening you can do manly things like go to the mall and watch TLC.



If those first boots don't provide you with enough ankle support you can go with these. You can do even more manly things in these like bake chocolate chip cookies. But they have to be gluten free, your mother-in-law is allergic.



These slip-on driving mocs are great, just fantastic looking shoes for doing manly things while keeping it low cut. I would imagine that these are the perfect shoes for doing manly things like painting ceramics and eating veggie burgers.



If putting on a shoe is too hard for you, you can always go with a clog. I think this is the ultimate man shoe for doing manly things. The fur is still there, making sure that you stay comfy while you leave your bedroom to make hotpockets on a Wednesday afternoon. You can do every imaginable manly thing in these: listen to Meg & Dia, read the Oprah magazine, sell your Beanie Babies on ebay, and talk about your period on the internet.

This collection is the coolest thing I've seen on the blogosphere in a few months because, y'know, "it's a man thing".

Natural Selection

Natural Selection is a brand out of the UK that's selling consumers the workwear aesthetic. They've got the typicals: selvedge, workwear shirts, selvedge chinos with lots of buttons for suspenders and side cinches, three button jackets, and some graphic tees for the kids. Availability in the states? None that I found, but I'd like to take a look at it anyway... so I can complain about it.






















The most important thing about selling a workwear brand, is to make sure your model is a stoic dude. I mean, they're representing the proletariat. They're still waiting to rise up and abolish capital. Power to the people, yo.






















Pretty standard. He's a little more happy in this one. But that's because he's working with wood, and wood makes everyone happy. Look at the size of the v-patch! That dude must sweat lakes!






















"That hole in the wall? Yeah, it used to be the crematorium. The dust makes great fertilizer. You should pick up gardening, it would further push your workwear aesthetic."






















"See these chinos? They're selvedge. That means they're... that mean they're... well, they have tape... and... and I'm standing by a chair."






















I really can't lie, the stuff doesn't look terrible on the rack. The three button jacket actually looks quite scrumtuous. The washed selvedge is a no can do for me, but I'm sure some people like their denim washed out. It's not a huge collection, but it seems fairly repetitive. There's some nice stuff here, but unless the price point undercuts the competition, there's no real reason to take a look.