Thursday, July 29, 2010

Timeless as we think we are?

On occasion, I like to rant about the going ons of this blogosphere. This post is probably going to end up being a compilation, so if you don't wanna' hear it, stop reading now. Shall we start?

Americana-wear is digressing from buying fewer clothes, with greater quality, to just straight up buying more clothes. There are a number of reasons for this, but before I get into this, read this article. It's a philosophy that I think we all need reminded of every now and then.

First, I think it's fair to say the Americana-wear has encroached on the streetwear portion of the market. Some guys who used to buy tongue-in-cheek t-shirts and the latest Nike SBs are now buying Alden's and Brooks Brothers. Now, guys like SartInc and SWT try to showcase all the options for all sorts of budgets and for all sorts of styles. They do not promote fads or what they believe is cool 'right now', though others say differently. They intend their sites to be a sampler, so you, the reader, can sort through the stuff you don't want, and pick out the styles and looks you like. Now, I get the feeling that people are misinterpreting what the site's intention is. With the streetwear guys getting into the trend, people view new classic style collections like streetwear collections. Newest patterns, cleanest kicks, and the slimmest fit are a priority, and people want to 'cop' these things in multitudes with the intention of being able to wear them for the rest of their lives, because they assume they'll be wearing the same styles and fits for the next half-century.

Alright, to the next point. On Unabashedly Prep, someone left a comment where he says, "I understand that old-school preps didn’t care much for fit, but we know better today." Okay, first of all, how the hell would we know that we know better? We don't. We know the current style is fitted and slim. I have no clue what I'll be wearing when I'm 50 years old and neither do you (unless you're already there, or close to being there). Hopefully, I'll be stuntin' selvedge and a BB button-down, but I'm not going to hold my breath. We shouldn't assume that we'll be wearing this stuff years down the road, so there's no reason to spend mad dough on lots of clothes.

Now here comes the advice, shop with the mind to only buy a few things at a time, and only shop a few times a year. This will reduce the amount of money you spend, and will ensure that the clothes you buy are things you really want and know you will wear often. With fewer clothes in your drawer, you will wear those clothes more often, getting more wears out of them; and if you decide that Americana slim fit isn't your cup of tea 5 years down the road, no big deal, because you already have put a lot of wear in your wardrobe. You've been a more economically sustainable person (sorry American retailers, if anyone actually reads this, you can lynch me).

Also, the line, "There's nothing wrong with being the best dressed person in a room" is a little off. If everyone is chilling at the bar in t-shirts and jeans and you're there with a khaki suit, spread collar, and an ascot you don't look like the best dressed person in the room: you look like the biggest douche peacocking about your friends. Most women will steer away from you like you steer away from the girl who poops her pants when she's drunk, especially if you're wearing an ascot. Unless you're in Greenwich, ascots are for imaginary people. Classy is about understanding what the situation calls for, not being the best dressed all the time.

This all being said, I think I can conclude by saying that learning about your style is on going. We don't know everything about ourselves all at once so we shouldn't buy our clothes all at once. Buy deliberately and try to not shop like an 8th grade girl. Build a wardrobe as you grow older and you'll discover what works for you slowly and make less sartorial mistakes a long the way. I mean, if we're building a wardrobe to wear the rest of our lives, don't we have the rest of our lives to build it?

Sidenote: I really hate the low-rise jeans and skinny tie look. The tie is ridiculously long and makes your torso look longer than it should. A couple solutions, get a higher rise, or get a sweater that breaks up the tie's length. I was going to post a picture, but I could only find pictures of bloggers who aren't assholes. No reason to point fingers so you'll have to go media-less this post.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Bad Taste?: Metal Music

For me, summer is about getting outside, getting sick of the sun, and digesting tons of mp3s.

Of course, I gotta' share some of it. Like my blog title suggests, I have some pretty terrible taste, especially in the music catergory.
I listen to everything from The-Dream to Slayer. For me, summer is about metal tunes and I have tearing through LPs faster than a hipster on coke.

Hate my music yet? At least my tastes are more interesting than yours. I like Weezy, Jeezy, and Yeezy as much as the next guy, but c'mon, expand your horizons to the music that the kids who didn't take showers listened to. You should know I was the only kid at Scranton Warped Tour throwing down in seersucker.

Parting thoughts:

This is ADG doing Levis cutoffs a la Sid Mashburn style. Not sure how I feel about these manpris. We'll just say that they're triple black diamond on the sartorial difficulty scale. So if you're still on the bunny slopes, don't even think about it. For those who are tackling the more difficult of sartorial slopes, wear it with a blazer and dress shoes without socks. I'm not sure I'd stray very far from the Mashburn formula. Be careful not to throw your masculinity out with the cuffs that you cut off your Levis.

Edit: Oh, and get an ankle tan.


If knowing that I listen to bad music makes you wanna' puke, you should know that I do dabble in European rape techno.

Friday, July 23, 2010


I will be heading to the tailor tomorrow. I'm getting two pairs of chinos slimmed up the break removed (I'm sooo faddy, I know). I figured I'd post a before and after, just to show people what your tailor can do for you.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Three button buffoons

Picking on selectism is too easy. In a post, which featured the above product, they said, "On a side note, it’s also nice to see that the three button blazer has now made a full comeback into popularity." No, it's not nice to see that the three button blazer has made a comeback into popularity. Three button blazers look okay on Asian workwear fanatics. They look lousy on someone trying to dress up for a recital or a date. If you think that three button blazers look 'fine', go to a shop, try on a two button and a three button blazer, and then come back with your results. Unless you're said Asian workwear fanatic, you're gonna' look like a maitre'd.

When three buttons look okay:
-with workwear.

And that's it.

Sidenote: Don't confuse three buttons with a 3/2 roll. They're two completely different things.

In defense of: Steve Alan

Perhaps he wanted to show everyone that being a male nurse should be widely accepted by American culture?
Will Steve Alan make it 'cool' to be a male nurse with these shoes?
The male nurse can only hope.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Front pocket cargos

Front pocket cargos seem to be what the kids are wearing these days. For the longest time (in internet terms, so actually like three days), I couldn't figure out why. It certainly couldn't be because of the collections that are pushing the look and because of the general acceptance by the public. It must be because the pockets are useful for holding things and that women love 'em. But how are they better than regular cargos? Well, regular cargos tend to have larger pockets than front pocket cargos, thus things flop around and tend to get lost in the large pockets. Bummer, right? Well, front pocket cargos haves seemed to solve this problem with their smaller pockets and at the same time, solved the jean pocket bulge problem, due to their mildly large pockets. Which brings me to my thesis: front cargo pants are the ultimate condom carrying pant. Condoms won't get lost in their small pockets, and you won't suffer the embarrassing condom bulge in your jean pocket (don't be a jackass, you're not supposed to keep them in your wallet). You can carry quite a few with no one knowing the better, except your lucky lady.

I'm not sure why this guy is wearing them, models don't use condoms.

After examination, you can fit a pack of condoms in front pocket cargos without anyone noticing. More if you unwrap them before putting them in!

Hipsters think it's funny to wear their pants backwards. I just think it looks uncomfortable.

After doing through research, I found that front pocket cargos were created to make the pocket t obsolete. See, pocket t's were originally created to hold condoms, but they only hold one. So, seeing that pocket t's weren't cutting it for the more physically demanding relationships, some smart dude created the front pocket cargo.

This dude wears them to work. What does that say about him?

To the kid who says "Your Favorite Weapon" sucks, you were 16 once, don't act like you're too grown up to like it.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Orvis Sells Us "Herbie - the one with Lohan"

You gotta' love Orvis. They make good stuff and carry some awesome collabs that aren't intended for the "return of Americana" trend as they've been selling them for years. Of course, they had to get in on the workwear trend and throw out some stuff with updated cuts. Should be dope right? Well, the result is neat-o but not neat-O! by any standards. It's kinda' like a movie we've seen before, but with a new babe(?). There are some great looking pieces (it's Orvis, we really don't need to discuss quality) and some pieces that are flaccid. I would like to mention that Orvis has always played the role of outfitter more so than clothing producer, which means that they'll get other people to make them gear for them to sell. I found it comforting that they continued the trend with this collection. (All this via Selectism)

Some selvedge, nothing new here. Have you ever heard of Stronghold? Worth investigating if you're down with dropping above $200 on a pair of jeans. Now, if we were all that well endowed.

Who has 2 thumbs and is not interested in dropping $200 on a belt buckle? This guy. Frye boots are cool and femme at the same time. Maybe people will mistake me as a lesbian steel worker if I wear these?

These are channeling the workwear trend times your mom. And under $200 these are awfully tempting. They've got an intense vintage Carhartt vibe going for them. Rising Sun, featured by Put This On, has got their grapefruit together on these pants. Now if only they weren't distressed.

Go to a army surplus store, buy this shirt, problem solved.


We're not even discussing $50 for three pairs of work socks. The selvedge khakis? Curious. I'm interested to see the benefits of selvedge khaki, as you can get regular Orvis khakis for $80 on their website. Throw in some extra for a tailor, and voila, you've got some nice khakis. I'm sure that selvedge khaki is something that khaki lovers can really get into, but I'm not seeing the extra investment worth it. I'm still wearing out my pair from boarding school so I'm not dropping this kind of money on khakis.

Overall, cool, and maybe comparing it to a Herbie remake is unfair. But none of it is mind blowing. When will Cowboys become fashionable again? I really want to buy a pair of tasseled gloves.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Drakes On Sale

Drakes is on sale. Get your neckwear on the cheap. The ties are regular width so don't expect something hip and skinny.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Summer Weddings

With the talk of khaki suits and such, everyone seems to think that they're perfect for summer weddings. I'm not going to disagree, but with the amount of media summer weddings have gotten you'd think guys go to one every weekend. GQ threw together a whole slideshow, SartInc talks of weddings as often as mixtapes, and when anyone posts pictures of an odd summer suit everyone comments, "OMG THAT WOULD BE PERFECT FOR A WEDDING!" or "BOY, I SHOULD GET A KHAKI SUIT FOR MY SISTER'S WEDDING." Ok, dude, we get the picture. Point is you should have a khaki suit regardless of how many weddings you're attending this summer. And on top of that, how dope you look shouldn't be a priority. Last time I checked, a wedding is to celebrate the joining of two people in marriage. It's their day, not yours, champ. This advice goes for any day: you're not a spectacle, so don't dress like one. There's a reason why celebs can wear all sorts of wacky suits and hats. Dress with respect for yourself and others. If you already realize this, then move along; if you don't, heed my words.

I do not, in any way, endorse Vans and khaki suits.